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I've Healed I've Hurt Gone from Bad to Worse
Come Out Better On the Other Side
Of This Bittersweet Beautiful RideShaman Heart - The Bittersweet Beautiful Ride


One woman's prayer in the dark and journey of faith, in song — from being born to love, to making peace with her past and troubled soul through unraveling, wandering through the wilderness, to finally being born from the blues and finding something to sing about. She reclaims her innocence, begins living and loving, gratefully, hand to faith and finally finds the freedom, passion, and purpose in chiselin' out her soul through the whole bittersweet beautiful ride. In Shaman Heart,  Jones opens up her heart and her closet to share the skeletons that were the medicine that freed her soul.

From the Artist:

As far back as I can remember music has been my medicine. When things got tough I'd grab my suitcase record player, pull it into my closet and play "You've Got A Friend" by Carole King over and over again while rocking myself to sleep. Somehow over the miles her heart and spirit touched mine. As I grew so did my longing for love and connection. This record is my journey in song. May it sing to you in the dark nights of your soul and give you hope in those moments of doubt.

Nine Months of Magic

In January 2017, I reluctantly saddled up as I usually do to try to get my weight along with my body, mind and soul back on track after a season of over indulging and not being connected. Fairly soon into my regular meditation this inspired thought and very clear vision followed by a course of action came to me insisting it was time for me to record an EP to be ready for the Gathering of Shamans where I was booked to be the featured music artist in May with some of the leading spiritual teachers of our time. I tried to push the thought out of my mind but it was persistent and insistent and so I reluctantly gave into being willing to do something about it. Since I am a musician living hand to faith every month I did not have the financial resources so I prayed and humbly asked a few folks who believe in my music if they would help me make this album. They all said NO. It wasn't the right time, they didn't feel called to it or have the money. Honestly I was relieved. I wrote in my journal " Dear GOD sorry, I did what you asked me to do but they all said no." I truly was grateful as I didn't know if I was ready inside to share outside my most intimate details of painfully learning how to live. You see I had been writing "THESE" songs for well over 20 years.  These were the songs I kept in my closet as they were too personal to my own experience. They were born from the dark nights of my soul, from my pain and from my own prayer in the dark.

Fast forward one month later on February 24,2017 I was sharing my music and "THESE" songs on a power journey to the Pyramids of Teotihuacan, Mexico with 29 other folks seeking personal freedom and a better life. I had come into the kitchen of the Dreaming House for some coffee and it was there that I was cornered by two powerful women Teri and Judy, who sat me down and asked me "Why don't you have a copy of "THESE " songs?"  I laughed and shared my persistent vision from January and told them what I always said when asked about "THESE" songs. "It takes time and money and I don't have either right now." That answer was not good enough for these two fiery red heads and they spontaneously began organizing a funding campaign to make the EP, insisting it needed to be done NOW. I brushed their enthusiasm off knowing good and well how much work, time and effort it takes to do a funding campaign. I also knew I did not have that time to spare with my schedule up ahead filled up for all of 2017 in tours and teachings across the US, Mexico and Europe, not to mention being a wife and mom. Just as I was about to say NO Judy called my bluff and said she was donating $2500 if I started recording immediately. She went on to share that her aunt Helen who was a music teacher had just passed on Nov 24, 2016 and left her a little inheritance. She said aunt Helen would be so happy to know that her life blood in gifted money was going to touch lives through music, her great passion. Well there I was in the Dreaming House in a puddle of tears and surrender. God has a plan and God knows it wasn't mine. I knew this was holy and I knew that I had to say YES. I did an impromptu but powerful photo shoot by photographer who happened to be on the journey, Sue Schweitzer, on top of the pyramid of the sun and called my friend George Bradfute at Tone Chapparal. We landed on Monday February 27th at 10pm and I was in the studio recording by 9am Tuesday with Montezumas Revenge. I was so sick I had to let go. I reluctantly got out of the way and magic happened. A few days later I had to humbly ask a few more people to help us finish making the EP and Jeremy and I maxed out our holy roller credit card to keep the dream alive. We stepped out on faith along with doubt but once we said YES there was no turning back.

On Friday April 6, the 6 song EP was delivered to Sedona,Arizona where I shared and sang my insides out in a public way for the first time in my life. Who knew so many people had felt the same way at some point in their life and were seeking a life of more freedom, passion and purpose. There I was on stage with one of the authors and teachers who had touched my life and taught me how to love, Don Miguel Ruiz, best selling author of the Four Agreements, along with an amazing woman author,  teacher and friend Heather Ash Amara, the Ruiz Brothers and my chosen teacher who had been passed down initiations of the Sineca Tribe, Linda Star Wolf, creator of Venus Rising Association for Transformation, whose medicine, Native American and Shamanic Breathwork had literally transformed my life. It was a full circle, amazing moment I could not even have imagined.

Miraculously and not surprisingly, another angel on this earth heard the EP in June and without me asking gifted me the ability to record the rest of the album. She too said it was put on her heart to help me make this music and that the world needed it now. I once again humbly surrendered and headed back to the studio the day after my European tour in September 2017. Amazingly on November 24, 2017, the day after Thanksgiving, the same day aunt Helen died one year before and exactly 9 months after I was given the seed money for this album in Teotihuacan,  Mexico, Shaman Heart - the Bittersweet Beautiful Ride, was born and given back to life and to all of those who need it the most. I have been in labor with this album for 20 years as I wrote most of these songs in my own search for love and personal freedom. These songs were my own experience, strength and hope I found along the way. They are the skeletons that were my medicine.

Last but certainly not least I am over the moon excited to share that within the month of this album release, my husband, Toltec wisdom keeper, personal freedom coach and shamanic breathwork minister and facilitator, Jeremy Pajer and I will open the doors to our dream come true, Freedom Folk and Soul, a congregation of Venus Rising for Tranformation with the intention of being witnesses for others on a path of personal freedom, teaching from our experiences of Toltec wisdom, native american and the transformative tools of Shamanic Breathwork and the Spiral Path. I am so honored to share my medicine of music, to teach and to lead power journeys all over the world being present for those seeking their own transformation.

This album is a thanks giving to so many who were mothers, fathers,  sisters, brothers, teachers, preachers, friends and witnesses on my journey. My prayer is that these songs find their way to the hearts and souls of the people who need them most. May they feel like I did listening to " You've Got A Friend", so many years ago, that they are not alone, that there is purpose in the pain, and our pain can become our medicine to lead our lives with more compassion, passion, purpose,  freedom and love.

 

©2015 STEPHANIE URBINA JONES